Shades of Gray

That's how I'm viewing the world and my life right now. And not in the good "I can see all sorts of shades in situations, not just black and white" kind of way, but more along the lines of "my world is bleak and the horizon filled with an endless vista of gray..." Goth vision. Back of hand on forehead, woe as me type deal. It's kind of embarrassing, because while my wardrobe has always veered into Gothesque, I've never taken myself seriously enough to be a Goth. And I don't want to start in my mid-forties, fer crissake.

I was feeling better, but I guess that getting sick, along with hormonal fluctuations and waiting for 8 days of Zomig to flush from my system, knocked me right back into the Gray Zone. Confusion over my impending divorce, feeling distanced from friends and family, feeling...well, very alone right now. Scared of sameness. Scared of repeating mistakes. Scared that these sharp painful waves of nostalgia will never stop. Wanting to feel enthusiastic about something other than a good glass of wine.

I'm fostering two kittens, about three months old. They were rescued from a shelter the day they were going to be euthanized by a fellow cat crazy gal in my neighborhood. She heard of my reputation for being good with ferals and asked if I'd be willing to take them so they can be adopted into good homes. It's time intensive, but I figure that maybe doing something worthwhile will blow some of these gray clouds away. They hiss when I come in the room and open the cage, but don't try to bite or scratch when I take 'em out and hold them. I can take being hissed at. And they're awfully dang cute. One is a gray and silver marbled tabby and the other a long haired silvery gray cutie with a face like an owl, all big eyes and tufted ears.

Anyone want a kitten?