Zhadi's Den

Random essays on wine, writing, moving to San Francisco, surfing, cats (exotic and otherwise) and zombies...depending on my mood.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Just when you think it's safe...



I was gonna use the original SCREAM, but this one captures more of a sense of the absurdity of life. I've heard Homer's "D'OH!!!" echoing in my ears, like the one in THE SIMPSON'S version of KING KONG.

My job, which I thought was relatively secure, turns out to be anything but. It's not a done deal yet, but odds are good that in a couple of months I'll be looking for something else to pay the bills. This bums me out because I really love what I'm doing. I like the people, the location, the work (most of it), the hours. It's one of the first real (non-creative) jobs I've had that's interested me on any sort of long term basis. So to find out that I'm essentially a place-holder for another person that they'd like to hire...well, it's very depressing. On the upside (call me Pollyanna), if it doesn't work out with this person, I've got the job. If not, I'll get good references and have picked up job skills and experience that'll make it that much easier to find something else.

What truly frustrates me is that I've avoided trying to find a day job that could be a potential career for most of my adult life, bouncing from temp job to temp job and trying to make it as first an actress, then a writer. For the last year, while not giving up on my writing, I've really tried hard to find something that I could stick with, finally accepting the fact that I may never make enough money in creative pursuits. And if I had to have a job, why not find one that genuinely interested me? So I did, first with my last temp job (my boss would have hired me, but a merge with another company left a lot of employees without jobs and they had to hire internal candidates), and now this job. It seems to me that the Universe isn't behind me in my efforts to become an adult.

On top of that, the screenplay option on CHILL with my writing partner, took a sudden, completely unexpected turn when we received a batch of notes from the producers. Without going into details, let's just say that many emails in varying shades of reasonable to acrimonious, have gone back and forth through cyber space the last three days. The end result, my writing partner has backed off the project and I may or may not be able to find a middle ground for the current creative differences. There's a whole backstory on this that I won't go into...but suffice to say that I've had a migraine for three days, haven't written a word not part of the above referenced emails, and I'm very grouchy. But I'm also determined to get a paycheck for this project for myself and my partner. I have a meeting in L.A. Friday. Wish me luck.

I realize that we're not supposed to get complacent in our lives...but isn't it ever safe to relax and become at least semi-comfy?

On the upside, at least it didn't send me into a blogless tailspin for a month. And I'm gonna have dinner at Billy's with my sister on Saturday night, which means good food, good wine and good company. I take my silver linings where I can find 'em.

9 Comments:

  • At 4:12 PM, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said…

    This is not a problem. That person they want to hire? Get me a little background on him/her. I'll take care of everything.

    I have many associates.

     
  • At 8:09 AM, Blogger zhadi said…

    Should someone's kneecaps be feeling a twinge about now? :-)
    Thanks for the immoral support, Mr. F!

     
  • At 9:29 AM, Blogger Other Lisa said…

    *SNORT*!

     
  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Abyss of Silence said…

    Bummer, Zhadi! The year had started off so much better for you too. It may all be well in the end.

    I have to say though, that really sucks about your employers. If this was a provisional position, they should have made that clear.

     
  • At 4:31 PM, Blogger zhadi said…

    Well, I knew that it was temp to perm, with me having to prove that I could do the job...it's the feeling as though it hasn't ultimately mattered 'cause there's always been this other person that they REALLY want.

    It's like being a seat filler at the Oscars. Y'know, when the star goes to the bathroom, someone sits in their seat so it won't be empty in case the camera pans up there.

     
  • At 4:45 PM, Blogger FreeThinker said…

    The grass is always greener on the other side. Some of us are stuck in a decent-paying jobs, and we can't find work in other trades, so we keep punching the clock, dreaming of what it would be like on the other side ...

     
  • At 9:10 PM, Blogger zhadi said…

    Um...well, I'd love to be stuck in my decent paying job at this point rather than worrying about two months from now, how am I gonna pay my bills if they go with the no-show at the Oscars candidate...so it's not a case of grass being greener one place or another. My point is taht I WANT this job. And it's the first real job I've ever really felt strongly about where I actually have work to do, rather than unlimited time to write.
    blech.

     
  • At 10:57 PM, Blogger Other Lisa said…

    pandas...pandas...pandas...

    and drive carefully!

     
  • At 9:06 PM, Blogger DEREK said…

    hope you had success today, best of luck a little late.

     

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