Just when you think it's safe...

I was gonna use the original SCREAM, but this one captures more of a sense of the absurdity of life. I've heard Homer's "D'OH!!!" echoing in my ears, like the one in THE SIMPSON'S version of KING KONG.

My job, which I thought was relatively secure, turns out to be anything but. It's not a done deal yet, but odds are good that in a couple of months I'll be looking for something else to pay the bills. This bums me out because I really love what I'm doing. I like the people, the location, the work (most of it), the hours. It's one of the first real (non-creative) jobs I've had that's interested me on any sort of long term basis. So to find out that I'm essentially a place-holder for another person that they'd like to hire...well, it's very depressing. On the upside (call me Pollyanna), if it doesn't work out with this person, I've got the job. If not, I'll get good references and have picked up job skills and experience that'll make it that much easier to find something else.

What truly frustrates me is that I've avoided trying to find a day job that could be a potential career for most of my adult life, bouncing from temp job to temp job and trying to make it as first an actress, then a writer. For the last year, while not giving up on my writing, I've really tried hard to find something that I could stick with, finally accepting the fact that I may never make enough money in creative pursuits. And if I had to have a job, why not find one that genuinely interested me? So I did, first with my last temp job (my boss would have hired me, but a merge with another company left a lot of employees without jobs and they had to hire internal candidates), and now this job. It seems to me that the Universe isn't behind me in my efforts to become an adult.

On top of that, the screenplay option on CHILL with my writing partner, took a sudden, completely unexpected turn when we received a batch of notes from the producers. Without going into details, let's just say that many emails in varying shades of reasonable to acrimonious, have gone back and forth through cyber space the last three days. The end result, my writing partner has backed off the project and I may or may not be able to find a middle ground for the current creative differences. There's a whole backstory on this that I won't go into...but suffice to say that I've had a migraine for three days, haven't written a word not part of the above referenced emails, and I'm very grouchy. But I'm also determined to get a paycheck for this project for myself and my partner. I have a meeting in L.A. Friday. Wish me luck.

I realize that we're not supposed to get complacent in our lives...but isn't it ever safe to relax and become at least semi-comfy?

On the upside, at least it didn't send me into a blogless tailspin for a month. And I'm gonna have dinner at Billy's with my sister on Saturday night, which means good food, good wine and good company. I take my silver linings where I can find 'em.