Zhadi's Den

Random essays on wine, writing, moving to San Francisco, surfing, cats (exotic and otherwise) and zombies...depending on my mood.

Saturday, March 15, 2008


It's been a rough few weeks. Last Wednesday night, we had to say goodbye to Haggis, our darling eight-month old kitten. He let us know he was ready to go...and we had our vet come to the house. He had 24/7 of attention and love from Dave and me from the moment we found out he had FIP; I took him to work with me a couple of days. He faded out slowly, but even at the end he still purred when he woke up and saw the two of us with him.

I have cried more in the last couple of weeks than should be allowed. Taz and her little brother, Haggis

His sister, Taz, curled up with him every hour or so. If she wasn't grooming him, she was coiled around him in a protective semi-circle. I spent a lot of time holding the two of them.

We got Haggis's ashes back from the vet's this morning. They came in a little polished pine box, complete with a lock and two little keys. We put the box in a vampire kitty container from one of Cost Plus's Halloween collections, courtesy of my brother and sister-in-law. It was one of my favorite Christmas presents this year and perfect as a resting place for Haggis, who had overlong canines. I need to take a picture of the vampire kitty and post it. Just not yet

Grieving is a long process. You can't rush it. I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with people telling me 'get over it; it's only a cat, fer crissake.' Tell that to Taz, who periodically wanders around the house looking for her brother and meowing. If someone doesn't relate to those of us who consider our animal companions (that's the PC term for 'pets', in case you were wondering) part of our families, the best thing they can do (both for the sake of the bereaved and their own health) is keep their opinion to themselves. Seriously.

I hope this is the last post I'll write for quite a while about grief and loss. I attended Left Coast Crime in Denver last weekend, am gearing up at a leisurely pace for a book signing tour in May with my new pal and fellow writer Jess Lourey, and have a lot of positive things happening in my life.

But damn, I miss that cat.

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  • At 6:36 AM, Blogger Debbie said…

    I am so sorry for your loss. Virtual hug for now and am looking forward to giving you a real one in person on Wednesday

  • At 1:10 PM, Blogger David Fitzgerald said…

    Thank you, Debbie. I'm looking forward to seeing you too!


  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    He was such a special little guy--he will be missed for a very long time. I'm glad I got to meet him.

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger zhadi said…

    I have a really good picture of you and Haggis and Tsavo, Anonymom! Oh, and the David Fitzgerald comment is actually me, Dana! I was using his computer...

  • At 3:07 PM, Blogger Jack C. Young said…

    I just got around to reading about your loss. We lost our little Tonkinese-Burmese, Precious, just four weeks ago so Susan and I know just what you are going through. We're coming out of the shadows somewhat but memory will still bring hot tears to both of us when we aren't expecting it. For the first three weeks we couldn't stop crying. The only thing you can do is to hold on, and to look after the babies you still enjoy and those who will come to you in the future. (Cats ARE drawn to certain people because they know whom they can trust so there WILL be more coming into your life.)Don't worry about those who don't understand or empathize. You know what's what, they don't.
    In shared sorrow,
    Jack C. Young


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