Foster and Haggis

I love this picture…it’s one of the last ones taken before Haggis got ill and really shows his sweet personality. Foster’s too, for that matter.

(remember to go to my new blog!)

Haggis

It's been a rough few weeks. Last Wednesday night, we had to say goodbye to Haggis, our darling eight-month old kitten. He let us know he was ready to go...and we had our vet come to the house. He had 24/7 of attention and love from Dave and me from the moment we found out he had FIP; I took him to work with me a couple of days. He faded out slowly, but even at the end he still purred when he woke up and saw the two of us with him.

I have cried more in the last couple of weeks than should be allowed.

His sister, Taz, curled up with him every hour or so. If she wasn't grooming him, she was coiled around him in a protective semi-circle. I spent a lot of time holding the two of them.

We got Haggis's ashes back from the vet's this morning. They came in a little polished pine box, complete with a lock and two little keys. We put the box in a vampire kitty container from one of Cost Plus's Halloween collections, courtesy of my brother and sister-in-law. It was one of my favorite Christmas presents this year and perfect as a resting place for Haggis, who had overlong canines. I need to take a picture of the vampire kitty and post it. Just not yet

Grieving is a long process. You can't rush it. I'm okay with that. I'm not okay with people telling me 'get over it; it's only a cat, fer crissake.' Tell that to Taz, who periodically wanders around the house looking for her brother and meowing. If someone doesn't relate to those of us who consider our animal companions (that's the PC term for 'pets', in case you were wondering) part of our families, the best thing they can do (both for the sake of the bereaved and their own health) is keep their opinion to themselves. Seriously.

I hope this is the last post I'll write for quite a while about grief and loss. I attended Left Coast Crime in Denver last weekend, am gearing up at a leisurely pace for a book signing tour in May with my new pal and fellow writer Jess Lourey, and have a lot of positive things happening in my life.

But damn, I miss that cat.

I've got to get through that door...

I don't know about you, but when I get home from work, I can't relax until all the chores that need to be done are completed. I'm like a shark - if I don't keep moving, I'll sink into a sea of apathy and exhaustion. Nothing will get done. It doesn't matter how late I work, how exhausted I am. 10 cats and one dog need feeding, floors need sweeping (10 cats generate a lot of pine litter dust), litter boxes need cleaning...there are usually dishes to be washed, laundry to be folded. And if I'm REALLY lucky, one of the kids will have upchucked his/her breakfast and there will be cat vomit to be cleaned up.

Sigh.

I'm tired all over again. Tonight included all of the above, btw. And let's not forget the recycle and garbage.

By the time I'm finished with all of these things, I'm wiped. My brain is mush, my body exhausted and conjuring up creative energy is a challenge. But part of being a writer is...well...actually WRITING. Working on something. Not just resting on my laurels (and my butt) and thinking about writing. But dang, there are days when I wish I could put corks in my little darlings. I won't say which end. I'm sure you get the idea.

Woman Has Brain Sucked Out By Kittens

Yes, we are once again fostering kittens. Two boys, two girls, all from the same litter. We got them at four weeks of age, still on the bottle (little formulaholics!) and just starting to learn how to use their fat little legs and wobble around. Two weeks later they are in the furry jumping spider stage, can (and do) climb legs (with or without the handholds that clothes provide), furniture and terrorize the eight resident felines, who view them much as kids view their younger siblings - minimum of tolerance with a hefty dose of 'Bugger off, brats!' thrown in there. Foster, of course, is barely phased by them - he won't let them climb in him, but will sometimes curl up near them. Much spoilage occurs for both kittens and the adult cats and dog, to make sure that everyone gets the attention they need.

But as for getting any other type of work done? Hah! YOU try working on your laptop with four kittens swarming you. They are very people oriented and prefer to spend their time on or around us when we're sitting on the couch. I have had four kittens engaged in kitten wars, complete with little needly sharp claws and high-pitched squeaks of outrage, right next to me. I carry the scars of their battles on my arms and legs. Like all kittens, they go from hyperdrive to narcolepsy in a matter of seconds. I spend a lot of time doubling as a bed.

Giving them up, even to good homes, is going to be hell. I have never fallen so completely for an entire litter of kittens. I mean, I love them all and usually get weepy whenever one of my fosterlings goes off to its new life, but every now and again there's one I just can't bear to part with. Now I've got four of those. But I know each and every one of these guys is about as adoptable and adaptable as kittens could be. Except maybe Taz, the little black and white girl. She's a total mommy's girl and just now has been weaned off of bottle-feeding. Sigh. You will hear my weeping across the land when adoption day comes.

Posting on a Saturday night...

And having a damnably hard time writing anything. I've probably used up all of my brain power today doing tax things, such as going through my files and bags and folders and drawers and finding all receipts/invoices/bills for 2006 AND 2007, separating them out and getting some order, before finally sitting down and doing a prelim run on 2006 taxes. I am happy to say that without using even half of my legitimate deductions, I am getting a hefty refund this year. I am pleased and have cracked a bottle of tasty pinot noir to celebrate the occasion.

I have a new favorite mystery author: Nadia Gordon, who writes the Sunny McCoskey series, set in Napa Valley. Well written, funny, cleverly plotted and with LOTS of food and wine descriptions, these books more than make up for the loads of crappy mysteries I've read over the last couple of years. I wish I'd found them before Murder for Hire got a publisher 'cause I would have been less depressed about all of my rejections. Something about reading the crap and not being able to get published seriously damaged my self-esteem as a writer. It's doing better now, thank you.

I also found a new Barbara Hambly fantasy last week! For those of you who like fantasy, horror, or just enjoy good writing, Barbara Hambly is an amazing writer. I've read all of her books (she has over a baker's dozen in various genres) several times and the re-reads are just as good as the first time I cracked each book. The latest is Circle of the Moon, a sequel to Sisters of the Raven, fantasy with a thread of horror running through it. Finding a new Barbara Hambly at B. Dalton's was as good as getting an Easter basket with a solid chocolate rabbit from See's in it.

My cats just knocked something off of the kitchen table. The sound it made when it landed on the tiled floor leads me to believe that the object in question was glass. Ah well... At least I get a refund!