Zhadi's Den

Random essays on wine, writing, moving to San Francisco, surfing, cats (exotic and otherwise) and zombies...depending on my mood.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The funniest man in the world...

Evidently it's some comedian a la Chris Rock. Forgot his name, but I saw a trailer for his new 'hilarious' movie on TV. Lots of broad comedy, like pratfalls, people walking into walls, getting hit with things, fart jokes...yes, this is the funniest man in the world. Do they use the stupidest parts of the movie to make trailers or what? Is it because I'm really NOT part of the lowest common denominator? Or do I just not get the things that tickle America's funny bone?

I suspect that the person who came to this conclusion is the same guy who insists that PULSE is the scariest movie I would see this year. Well, if by 'scary' he meant that I would be bored to death by ghosts, he was right.

Like VERSUS, another Japanese horror movie (this one had zombies, how could it go so horribly wrong?), PULSE had a few moments of creepy atmosphere...and a lot of scenes that were interchangable. In VERSUS, people kept fighting in a forest. The comic relief character would scream and run. The hero would fight the zombies, fight annoying yakuza dudes, posture...and then do the same thing 1o minutes later in a slight different section of the forest. Bush right, tree left. Trees in a bunch, bushes in the background. I would doze off and wake up, only to realize that NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. Same fights, same forest. I was asleep for 20 friggin' minutes at a stretch and I swear that when I woke up, it was undistinguishable from the scene that was playing when I dozed off!

PULSE was just as bad, but without zombies. It had more interesting sets...but was possibly even more stuptifying than VERSUS because it had long scenes of incomprehensible dialogue, people responding to each other in monosyllabic grunts, and...well...nothing really happened. Not even an over the top yakuza villain to spice up the inaction. Who the hell needs melatonin when we have movies like PULSE?

GRUDGE (JU-ON) was scary. PULSE slowed my heartbeat down to a near comatose state.

I did not take pictures of my car yet... I did take her in for two new tires today and will eventually get her gas flap replaced. I'm in the middle of another post about my retirement as a Drama Queen and am trying to figure out how to scan old pictures so I can include them in the post. We're talking 20 year old pictures. Wish me luck.

And now? I'm gonna work on a new script, while watching OFFICE SPACE, one of my favorite movies ever. If you've ever worked in a cubicle, this is your movie. Someone stole my stapler. I could burn their house down...


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